Float like a butterfly, Vote like a Bee: This is the #GenElecSL story for the open minded #lka voter

“Manners maketh man” -William Horman

The 15th Parliament for Sri Lanka is going to be elected with the General Elections happening on the 17th August 2015. If you are allowed to vote (you can check via this link) then you need to vote by 4pm (not a single minute after). The gates open at 7am (you will probably go at 8.23am is my assumption). In addition to that latest smartphone that you are holding (which will become obsolete by September 2015 (I am not the one making this statement, the one who sold you the phone last year will tell this to you this year “why this version is better than our last version”…. anyway, I am drifting from my point for this blogpost), and that additional battery pack (aka power pack), and that tab, you would need to actually carry only one of this with you when you go to polling booth:

  • Valid driving license (the word ‘valid’ is there for a reason, those who have license with expiry, you need to check the expiry date hondey?). Those like me who have that black and white driving license thingy, you have nothing to worry, show that badass pic of urs in the 90s like when you celebrated Sri Lanka winning the 96 world cup). Those that didn’t actually see us winning the world cup, here is a link for the highlights
  • National Identity Card.
  • Passport (take this if you have a NIC or driving license but want to show that you have a passport. It’s heavier, but hey, society judges you and respect you more if you show that passport thingy.)
  • Temporary ID – If by 11th August, you were actually given a temp ID, then you must bring it, the booth where you are registered will know they issued this thingy.

“Do I take that ‘polling card’ thingy I got via the liuman uncle/ayya/malli/nangi (why don’t we have women postwomen in our country!)?

Well the short answer is: if you have it, take it, if not, it doesn’t matter. It’s just an invitation card for you to come to the polling booth by the Department of Elections, Siri Lanka. So to make things easier for you and them, take it, but don’t be alarmed if you haven’t got it. You are shape ekey can vote and go watch ‘Sikuru Hathey’ (don’t loiter around the polling booth or else MaKo will not be pleased, you don’t want to piss him off now do you?)

And during the voting thingy, do this very carefully:

  • Get that big arse ballot paper once your name is called and they apply some shit over your pinky (that chuti finger of yours which is going to get violated on the 17th Aug)
  • Go to that petti kadey thingy where they have a pencil (or pen or whatever they have, don’t use that expesive fountain pen of yours or any other, you have to use what they have given just to be on the safe side)
  • First, put an ‘X’ (weird ney, we put an ‘X’ to whom we want in Parliament, all this time, I think we as people have understood it as saying ‘NO’ to the corrupt, which is why we have in the past seen all the corrupt in Parliament) to the Party that represents your preferred candidate. Only 1 X in this top area, boruwatawath don’t put anything else at all in the top part (MaKo will find you and ….).
  • Below you will see Bingo/Lotto style numbers. The maximum number of lotto numbers you can select is 3. That’s right, the maximum. That means, technically you don’t even need to select 1. You can just put X to party and go or put 1 X to candidate you like (or have a crush on) or 2 (if you like 2 buggers), or 3 (for the threesome fans). Nothing more, harida?
  • Then fold that ballot paper (should take you no more than 7 minutes depending on which district you are in) and then go to the brown pettiya which has been opened up, go shove that paper in there and consider yourself a democratic citizen of the “Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka”!

Iwarada?

Well, your voting right is over, but iwara unata atthatama iwara nehe.

You see, we still have the corrupt, not just some politicians, there are some public servants who are corrupt, there are some police who are corrupt, there are some election monitors who are corrupt, there are… you see where I am going at ney?

So even during or after elections, do your civic duty. Be vigilant about shady things which happen in front of you. Don’t just tweet them or facebook it and complain. Go update twitter and facebook, but also take action offline too and report that shit to the police or relevant authority. Don’t bend down to anyone, not even MaKo!

Stand up today, go vote and report ALL election violations.

Know your EC, go here to educate yourself.

While you wait for election results, read the constitution of our country (including the amendments), its only like 200 pages or so ney.

Constitution part 1

the 19th Amendment (this is your fav one noh, though you didn’t even read it, adawath kiyawamu ney?)

Happy voting. 🙂 (Mako wagey hinawela chandey danna).

p.s- Don’t take selfies in the polling booth, else, your next selfie will be in prison eating your lunch provided by MaKo.

May all living beings be well.

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